JosephBurke.com

Toxic Lifestyles

// August 8th, 2010 // Joe's Blog

What does the word toxic mean? According to Websters, “anything containing poisonous material capable of causing sickness or even death.” We go about our daily lives, never really stopping to breath, listen and observe the positive side of life and living, or even the fact your alive and well. Instead, we resort to five toxic things in our lives that lead us nowhere, destroys our lives, devours our social life and ultimately leads us down some dark paths that we could have prevented long beforehand. This blog is inspired by the message series “Toxic” preached by Pastor Paul Valo and Christ Church of Orlando. I see so many of my friends online on Facebook, Twitter and “out there” suffering, hurting and questioning their very own life, mortality and happiness. This is for you because I love, care, want you to be happy and live a good life.

#1 – Negative Thoughts
It’s so difficult for us to change our thought processes from negative to positive. We go about our lives asking the questions: “Am I good enough? Why me? Why do I always have bad luck? Nothing I do in my life never goes right, why? I feel ugly! Why can’t I be handsome or pretty? Why can’t I lose a few extra pounds? Why do others get all the glory and fun, and I have nothing?

Thinking negative is the first process of toxic corruption in the lifestyle of the human experience. It’s a natural instinct, we all do it and some of us get completely wrapped around the idea of negative energy and anger. It’s not easy changing the way we humans think. Our brains are wired on a reward system, and when we are rewarded we repeat over and over again and again. For example, you’re fired from your job, and the only thing that comforts of you is a bowl of ice cream, or numb your hurt by drinking alcohol. Even though momentarily these things take the negativity away, it doesn’t cure or resolve what’s still going on deep within your mind. Over and over your brain reminds you that you were just fired, your wife may be cheating, your car died on the freeway, you’re not good enough. You are useless and worthless and there is no way to escape.

#2 – Fearful Thinking
Another toxic mental mechanism is the aspect of fear itself. Example, you look down at your watch, it’s 15 minutes pass time for your wife to be home from work. Psychologically, your running through scenarios; What if she’s in a accident? Will I get a phone call? Is she hurt? What if she’s dead? I can’t afford the doctor bills! Did she injure someone else? Oh gosh, what if she is dead and I have to plan a funeral, I’m just not ready for this!

Another example of fear is our very own health. I have a lot of health issues, and from time to time, I find random weird things on my body that totally boggle my brain. I recently had saliva gland blockage in my mouth, and the result was a black looking hemorrhage under my tongue. Not realizing this was a minor problem, and easily fixed with a doctor’s visit and medicine, I immediately went to the Internet, searched mouth sores, ulcers, blisters and cancer. When I came to cancer, “That’s got to be it!” I automatically assumed the worse case scenario, I had mouth cancer under the tongue, and I was automatically visualizing myself going to the hospital, having surgery, going through chemo and planning a funeral.

We as Christians and as regular living people no matter which faith you practice have the toxic effects of fear reaching into our own lives almost daily. It’s the human condition, human nature to worry and fear. But in these circumstances, we automatically have to assume the worst before we can even see the light of the best outcome. Fear isn’t of God, nor is it part of positive energy. In the example of my mouth condition, a simple doctor visit and a five day round of antibiotics cleared up my problem. But, if you were to ask me during the height of my fear and worrying, I was a goner and was bound for cancer and chemo. All I can do is chuckle and myself sometimes.

#3 – Unforgiving
Unforgiving is anger based, and is a toxic ingredient in the negative energy of our lives. For example: Someone took something of yours that you value, and you felt it was rightfully yours. They stole your happiness, and it should have been you getting the promotion at work! You hold grudges against your friends, colleagues or co-workers for their amazing success or your looming inability to achieve what they have. To not forgive and look past things that we have no control over in our lives, many times we get a sense of unforgiving, anger and resentment towards those things around us. The old saying is true, to be able to forgive is to ultimately forget. It’s not easy, by any means. But we have to take control of our thoughts and tell our brains to rewire and think thoughts of positive reinforcement. If you don’t do this regularly (positively telling yourself there is a brighter tomorrow, better outcomes, peace, love and joy), the cycle in your life of toxic living will eat away at you, and the ability of unforgiving and anger will dominantly preside.

#4 – Discontented
To be discontent with yourself is a feeling of restlessness and feeling always unhappy. Examples: I hate my looks… My body is just ugly and fat… I wish my children would behave and be better. I wish I had a better boss at work. Being discontent keeps you from being happy where you are in your life. By putting yourself down, disconnecting and always wanting something better, and following after what others have isn’t healthy nor does it radiate that positive energy we need.

Never being satisfied and always wanting more and more is severely toxic to our lives and those around us. Our thoughts of wanting something better over time becomes played out in our lives, and often times we don’t even realize it until it’s too late… when the damage has already been done. Do you really need to divorce your wife because your just not happy with her and could find a much better candidate? Do you really want a better boss at work, when you need to realize you are blessed to even be employed in the first place? If you feel you’re ugly, think about this; if you can walk, talk, have all your fingers, limbs and vital parts, should you really be complaining? We’re not a victim of circumstance, we get ourselves into those situations. What we are a victim to, is the fact we always want bigger and better.

#5 – Critical Thought
The most toxic of all, and yet the easiest one to ignore and overlook. Example: I can do that better than him! Wow, he’s way too fat to be wearing those shoes with those shorts. And this is my personal favorite, People Watching. How many times have went to the mall, sat down on a bench and just watched people. Automatically we start critiquing and mentally making ourselves better than they are. Example: Look at that couple… She’s short, he’s tall and they don’t even match. Wow, there’s a real winner, look at that hat with that shirt! Yeah, you look like you need a cookie! I wish they’d just let me do it, I’m so much better at computers than she is. Oh look.. there goes a terrorist!

Critical thought stems from a level of mental perfection that we think we have. We’re always better than others around us, and we deserve all the gifts, glamor and pampering that goes along with a rich full lifestyle. Not so… We don’t deserve anything but God’s grace and perfect love in our lives. Trust me when I say this, “Whatever you look for… is what you’ll find.”

Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Actively take control and charge of your thoughts. It’s the most challenging effort in your life. Many people feel that living life is a struggle and not fair. But the reality is the only real warfare that we wage starts in the mind. We have to take those thoughts of impurity and perfectionism and change them to something more positive. Start thinking of how blessed your life is, that you’re alive to enjoy God’s nature, beauty and grace. All negative entities give a energy of sorts. But it doesn’t give life, rather it drains it totally. People find themselves addicted to drama, and the whole world around it. It’s as if they are living their lives within the lives of others and the chaos surrounding it. And to them, they feel that’s “how they live life.” Take your mind to another place, and not to sound cheesy, but to a happy place. When you have negative thoughts, fear, worry, unforgiving anger, discontented, or being critical of others, take your mind to a time when something amazing, exciting and happy took place in your life. Whether that is when you took your kids to Disney World for the first time, or when you’re at the beach hearing the ocean waves crashing in. The key to cleaning up the toxic waste dump in your own life doesn’t start with fate, karma, drama or unforeseen circumstances. You have to take control of your life, empower your mind, and more importantly, let God do the guiding of steps in your life. BP Oil may have a mess on their hands in the Gulf of Mexico, and scientists say it will be literally decades before it all is cleaned up. You, on the other hand, can clean up your own oil spill by surrendering to a high calling in your life, and changing the way you think. Replace toxic thoughts with God’s Truth!

“Life is like the ultimate poker game… Everyone is dealt a different hand, but it’s up to us on how we play the game called life.” — Joseph Burke (2005)